Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Cabin fever is real, yo

Well those of us that had been snickering at the east coast this year and thanking God for mild PNW winters... we got a bit of Karma. When I say a *bit* I mean 6-8 inches. That may as well have been acid falling from the sky with the reaction Portlanders have to it.


Seriously though it was a mess, and my house in the hills made it even worse. Homebound since Thursday at noon, by 3pm on Sunday I was going fucking nutso. We all were. I could only eat so many carbs, and man did I push my limits. I am terrified to step on the scale. It's back to the gym tonight and not a moment too soon!

We did manage to get out to go and see The Lego Movie, and "Everything is awesome" is now bored into my head FOREVER. It really was great though and it was Ozzie's first movie in the theater! He did fantastic, and was awestruck enough to sit the entire time.

We survived "snowlandia" and I am fully ready for Spring now. I even announced my Spring mini's over on my business FB page!

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

I am only cheating myself

When you are trying to lose weight and get in shape it's all about getting into a rhythm and into good habits. I know this as well as anyone else. As I have tried easing myself into things this past month I have been cheating. Here and there, I just flat out give in. It's basically self sabotage. I mean, trust me I want to lose weight much more than I want those damn sour patch kids, but I seem to forget in that moment. Then the damage is done.

I have set a goal for myself or February (I started yesterday actually), no cheating. I have to stick to my daily allotted calories, or under, until 3/2. I hope that by then I will be back in to habit, seeing some results and staying on the wagon will get back to the mindset that I need to be in to be successful. I go back and read my blog from a couple years ago and I was there. I was seeing results. I let my foot off the gas pedal though and we all know what happened. I "found" the weight I had lost and now I am starting over. The good part of this challenge is I can eat what I want, but the calories have to stay within goal. I know that in order to indulge a bit here and there I will need to stay dilligent at the gym to earn some extras.

I've been bitten by the swimming bug again, which feels great because swimming is such great exercise and low impact for my poor feet. I actually enrolled Ozzie into a swimming class that starts next week and I am thrilled to pass on my love of the sport to him. Hopefully he end up loving it too.

So here's to February!

Monday, February 3, 2014

I've come up with 3 titles for this post

1. I'm so glad I am not single anymore
2. Absence makes the heart grow fonder?
3. My husband is never allowed to go away again

My husband flew to Orange County this weekend to visit some close friends of ours that moved down there recently. We have been joking it's his romantic superbowl weekend, since we refer to Kevin as his "boyfriend". It was nice to see him staying connected with someone that I know he really enjoys having as a friend, and more than just text messages about their (3) fantasy baseball teams. Yes, THREE.

Oz and I dropped him off at the airport Saturday morning and by 2pm my kiddo was already an emotional wreck crying for Daddy. I hadn't expected this reaction, but I guess I should have. Hubs is not much of a traveller or very social at home. He's the epitome of a home body and he likes it that way. I am gone for hours on the weekends when I have shoots and I have travelled for work and pleasure a few times in the past few years. Poor Oskar is just not used to having to be without his daddy. Oz stayed at my Mom's Saturday night so I could go to a birthday party and was back to being sad and emotional just about as soon as he got back on Sunday. He even slept with me last night. Thank goodness we're picking him up at the train after work/school today.

Saturday night I got dolled up in my 80's best to head out to Jones Bar in Portland for my friend Chelsea's 30th birthday. I love getting to break out my makeup collection (most of which I have had for 10+ years). I watched a quick tutorial on youtube to get some inspiration. Sweater dress was found at Fat Fancy, which is a fantastic plus sized vintage store in downtown Portland. Hair is hot rollered and teased to Jesus.

Jones Bar is an 80's and 90's themed club over in old town. The music was FANTASTIC and we had a great time. I couldn't help but think how happy I was to not have to go do that type of thing on the regular though. The skeezy guys and trashy girls (not ironically trashy either) are just not my scene anymore.  I made a point to drink early and stop before I got too tipsy, so I could drive safely and also not feel like I wanted to die the next morning. Ever since having Ozzie I feel like I mis-judge how much I need to get a buzz and I end up TRASHED without meaning too. I also do not recover nearly as well as I used to! Success, I was tired but functional on Sunday, and thank goodness, because I needed all my energy for Oskar's needy mood.

Around noon on Sunday I got a call from my husband. Turns out while frolicking at the beach he dropped his wedding ring, and then while trying to find it in the surf he and Kevin both fell in with their iphones in their pockets. Awesome. Not. He's got it in rice and I sure hope it works. We have insurance on the phone, but I am guess that comes with a hefty deductible and we already have to replace the wedding ring that he never did find! this quick cheap weekend is turning out to be not so cheap.

Hubs is flying back today! This weekend was an eye opener, I missed him a lot more than I thought I would (that sounds terrible?) and I'm happy to have the whole family reunited. Let me tell you who missed him the most. The dog. I am not even kidding.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Gym Buddy

I think it's safe to say I officially have a gym buddy. One that won't flake 2/3 times a week, and one that I can commit to. Macey and I both have similar goals and similar starting fitness levels. She's even had plantar fasciitis before so she gets when I have to modify things. Our plan is to meet Tues/Thurs/Sunday and we've done pretty decent at sticking to the schedule. Life happens and we have missed some dates here and there, but overall I feel like finding a buddy had sparked my gym habit again.

Now that I finally have the gym thing going again it's time to fess up about the food thing. Seriously, I am so great until the afternoon. Then it's cheat central. I am not binging or anything but as we all know it adds up. My office is always full of temptation, in the form of candy. I never had a sweet tooth until getting pregnant with Oskar, and now it's BAD. I am going to try and have February as a "no cheat" month and see if I can get in the tracking food habit again. No cheats for me means that I can eat what I want, but have to stay at or below my daily calorie target for the day, which is about 1500 calories. I am going to try and really cut down on sugar and see if that helps.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Because, I have something to say

I'm back. For reals.

I stopped blogging, and almost threw in  the towel completely. It all fell apart when I was in my crazy busy photography season and I kind of felt like I just had nothing to say. Nothing positive anyway. I'd gained weight, had zero time for anything besides work, and blogging felt like a chore. I'm glad I didn't force it, but I have been missing writing and I feel good about beginning again.I have made a conscious change in my professional life to not let it take over again. Yes I will be busy in the fall, but never so busy that I feel lost by it all. 5 weddings in 6 weeks, never again... unless somehow I quit my day job, and that's not happening anytime soon.

With a long break comes the opportunity for a fresh start. This blog has long been dominated by my role as a mom (which is a big one) and I'd like to get back to the basics, of me. I wanna really write about life. To be able to look back a year from now and remember how far I have come, or be inspired to get back to where I want to be. This year I turn 35 and I REALLY want to be proud of myself this year. Proud of my health, my work, my role as mom and wife... all of it. If I am being honest I haven't felt good about myself in a long time. Mostly self inflicted as I have a great husband and a fantastic kiddo, the self loathing was taking over. I've battled depression most of my life and I just suddenly woke up the other day and decided to stop the spiral. I'd prefer to stay off meds and I know that if I can get moving again, both mentally and physically that I can do it med free. Writing is a form of therapy for me too.

So what to look forward to here in my bloggy home? If all goes well then some very real posts about life, getting fit, home DIY (not how-to's... but hopefully success tales) and of course there will always be Ozzie.

I'd love it if you followed along!

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Monday, November 18, 2013

Fresh Start

When I logged into MyFitnessPal this morning I thought there would be a pop up or something that said "about freakin time". 'Cause it really is...

Yesterday I had my last mini session day of the year and while I do have a handful of sessions left to shoot and of course a mountain of editing, I can actually feel the end. I have a schedule to stick to in order to get it all done (on time) and I know that I can do it. So now it's time to start taking care of me again. My seldom used gym membership needs some attention. Accountability for what I am feeding my body. I haven't felt good for months and I know that a total lack of attention to my body is to blame. I'm up 7lb since August. Urgh.

My feet have felt better lately (not good, but better) and I am planning on starting a 5k plan in late December and see hope it goes. The Shamrock Run would be my 5k plan. It's also the last time I ran... 3 years ago. Until then it's food tracking and just getting in the habit of the gym and I am really looking forward to it. My husband has been doing great, he recently started biking into work and has lost 12lbs already. Time to step up my game.

I am also glad to be starting this mindset before the holidays and the never ending treats that are in my office. There is a group of us to keep each other accountable and go for a walk or do the stairs when a craving strikes!

That is all.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Live action Wednesday!

OK guys, get ready for the cute. Lats night I asked Oz to sing for me and this is what happened:

He has been non-stop singing lately and not only is it adorable it shows me how far he has come verbally. His confidence is soaring and the words are getting clearer and clearer. He is such a ham for the camera too, such a show off.

OK and then Hubs sent this to me this morning. He is definitely the child of a professional photographer, right?!? I love his enthusiasm!

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